


these things happen (but do i let them?)

by wonseokie



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Coming of Age, Female Byun Baekhyun, Female Park Chanyeol, Friendships and Romantic Relationships, I guess???, Multi, Rule 63, Slice of Life, applied to some characters because there are some things i can't write, platonic intimacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-13 01:31:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15353244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonseokie/pseuds/wonseokie
Summary: These things happen, they said, and she has always accepted it as an explanation. These things happen, and there was rarely anything to be done about them. So, she learns to grow and live and accept, and when things happen, she says,these things happen.Or:in which love transcends labels, and maturity doesn't always come with age.





	these things happen (but do i let them?)

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello i started writing this as a prequel to another fic i was supposed to write but it became this massive mess of feelings instead. this was written for [ m ](http://twitter.com/stanyeol_) and [ e ](http://twitter.com/jongdaks) aka my children i love u both and this is a m e s s

Their love started with a bang.

Literally – they’d been at a party; his fraternity was hosting her freshman welcome, and they’d met when he accidentally dropped a plate after they bumped into each other, sending the plate he’d been holding to the floor with a resounding _bang_.

“I’m sorry!” she said, flustered and more than a little terrified. She was a tiny slip of a thing, and he had been a six-foot senior known less for his athleticism and more for his temper.

“It’s fine,” he murmured, grabbing at her arms when she bent down to pick at the broken ceramic. “Don’t touch that; wait here. Make sure no drunk dumbass walks on it, I’ll look for the broom.”

She was surprised by his gentleness, and immediately chastised herself for believing in rumors. She had never been a fan of gossip, yet there she was, believing in what she had heard before she could see it with her eyes. He walked past her and deeper into the kitchen, coming out just a few moments later with a broom and a small pan. He didn’t even listen when she insisted to sweep the plate up for him.

“It’s fine,” he repeated, smiling at her gently and, _oh_. He was very, very attractive, and very, very tall. Exactly her type. Gentle with a deep voice and even deeper dreams when she got to know him later; proud but dorky and a complete mess when he wakes up in the mornings. “Are you alright?”

She blinked at him stupidly, for a few moments, before she nodded and smiled. Awkward. “Yeah,” she said, “yes, I’m alright. These things happen.” She cleared her throat. “Are _you_ okay?”

He laughed, then, all deep rumbles and crinkly eyes. “I’m fine. I’m Yifan. You’re one of the freshmen, aren’t you?”

_I know_ , she wanted to say. _I’ve heard about you._ She nodded instead, sticking her hand out because her parents taught her to be courteous, even to people she bumped into. “I’m Baekhyun,” she said. “Nice to meet you, Yifan.”

His smile turned fond, large hand completely swallowing hers when he shakes it, gently. “Ditto. Can I get you a drink?”

 

Things didn’t take long. Yifan was everything Baekhyun has ever wanted in a man, and she turned out to be just his type as well – tiny, energetic, and adventurous. Their first few weeks were hard and filled with awkward silences between dates, what with Baekhyun adjusting to life in college – living away from family for the first time in her life – and Yifan finishing up his internship hours before he graduated in a year. Most people didn’t think they’d last long, either – Yifan was _graduating_ , and Baekhyun was more like a child than an actual adult.

The first time he kissed her, they were stargazing. He had taken her on a surprise date after one of his exams, dropping by a small stall for _ramyun_ before driving them out of the city and into one of the smaller villages that would have only taken an hour with the train.

They laid on top of a blanket, Baekhyun wrapped securely with Yifan’s large jacket, quiet as they appreciated the view of the sky. They didn’t get this clearly in the city; they didn’t have the luxury of just staring, appreciating, even. It was a first for the both of them. It was a first for them, _together_.

Baekhyun couldn’t remember, clearly, how it happened, it was just that one moment, she was staring at the sky, and the next she was looking at Yifan as he smiled down at her.

“How’d you get here?” she asked, giggling when he leaned down to press his mouth against her forehead, only to pull away again, just to look at her.

“Can I kiss you?” he murmured, soft and gentle, no pressure or expectation behind his words or expression. She smiled at him, appreciative of his consideration and his _love_.

“Yes,” she whispered, before leaning up and pressing her lips to hers. So, maybe _he_ didn’t kiss _her_ , but their first kiss still happened under the watchful gaze of the Milky Way, with the blessing of the full moon’s light. _Thank you for watching, for letting this happen._

He was breathless and amazed when he pulled away, just staring at her as if she was the answer to all the questions he has ever asked in his entire life. She smiled, goofy, before playfully pushing his face away in embarrassment. Sometimes she couldn’t take the way he looked at her, the way her heart raced in answer; sometimes she was just to giddy to be able to take him seriously.

 

They had sex for the first time on Baekhyun’s 19th birthday. They had dinner with the Byun family, Yifan being introduced as their baby’s boyfriend, and were riding on the high of one can of beer each. Neither of them was drunk, nor tipsy, nor buzzed; they were both simply basking at the happiness of having their relationship be acknowledged and accepted by Baekhyun’s rather strict parents.

She didn’t want to go back to her dorm to sleep the giddiness off alone. She wanted to spend time with her _boyfriend_. And maybe make out with him a bit. And maybe get a little frisky.

They were in Yifan’s apartment, alone, and Baekhyun _wanted_. He leaned up and kissed her temple. “Tell me to stop at any time, Baekhyun. Please.”

She took a breath and smiled. “Take me,” she whispered, and he crashed his lips against hers.

He did, that night; he took her. The first time, she had cried, because no matter how many of Yifan’s fingers she took before he used his cock, it will still not be enough to properly prepare her for his size. The second time, with her on top, riding him, she had moaned out his name and screamed when he used her momentum and drove into her from below.

The third time, sleepily, she smiled at him as she kissed him, lazy and full of love.

“I wonder sometimes what I did to deserve these things,” he whispered into her ear, hips moving gently, driving himself in and out of her. She was flat on her front, belly warmed by one of Yifan’s hands.

She giggled. “These things just happen sometimes, Fan,” she whispered. “You don’t have to do anything to deserve them.”

 

They moved in together six months after Yifan graduated. He had just been given a permanent position at the architecture firm he’d been interning in since he was a junior, and she was halfway finished with her second year in university. Jongdae, her closest friend, asked her if she was sure about her decision to live with her boyfriend of one year and a half and she never had a doubt about it.

“I’m sure, Dae,” she told him, smiling at the concerned frown on his face. “So, will you help me move boxes, or nah?”

He rolled his eyes and promised that _yes,_ he’ll help her move, _if_ they pay for his lunch and dinner.

That night, the three of them drink and eat pizza and watch an unhealthy amount of anime. She didn’t really expect it to happen, but it did; she _had_ given Jongdae her virginity when they were sixteen, but what she didn’t expect was for Yifan to slip his fingers up her shorts and whisper, _do you want to give him a blowjob?_

Jongdae had been terrified. Yifan was almost an entire foot taller than he was, was more muscular, and was Baekhyun’s boyfriend, but all he was doing was watch as Baekhyun slid on to her knees between his thighs, looking up at him hopefully.

“It’s okay, Dae, it was his idea,” she told him, hands resting dangerously high on his thighs.

“H-How did helping you with moving turn into this?” he asked, shaky, but he wasn’t pushing her away. Why wasn’t he pushing her away? _Because you’re horny and single and she’s willing_.

“Just let it happen, Jongdae,” Yifan murmured, and _curse_ his little bisexual dick for loving the sound of his name in Yifan’s voice because no one was touching him yet and he was already moaning.

They go at it all night, literally. Baekhyun sucks him off twice and he’s so, so surprised but also so, so happy when Yifan pushed him down on his front, prepped him with four fingers, and shoved that giant dick so far up his ass he almost tasted it in his throat.

After, when they were breathing in the musky scent of sweat – Baekhyun snuggled between two very beautiful men – Jongdae said, “didn’t peg you to be bi, Yifan.”

Yifan shrugged – or tried to, what with a clingy girlfriend being half on top of him. “I like beautiful people,” he answered. “Don’t care what’s between their legs.”

Jongdae hummed. “I like your boyfriend, Baekkie,” he said.

She harrumphed. “I love him, and he’s mine. Threesomes open only once a month.”

He laughed at that, almost expecting it to be a joke.

 

It wasn’t a joke.

 

It started with just the three of them. Jongdae understood – he was Baekhyun’s best friend, the first man she ever kissed and had sex with and everything.

And then he started noticing someone else – a beautiful, beautiful man who introduced himself as Luhan, cradling Baekhyun against his chest as she dozed.

“I’m honestly just here for the monster dick,” Luhan admitted, pointing at Yifan, who was cooking something in the kitchen. “I’m gay as _fuck_ , but I gotta admit that the little princess is a cutie. Almost makes me want to fuck her.”

He’d been worried, at the beginning. They were starting their third year in college and Baekhyun shouldn’t have to worry about relationship problems. When he told her, she had laughed and said, “We’re not having problems, Dae. Luhan just happens to be really, really attractive but really, really gay.”

“Aren’t you… even just a little bit insecure?”

That dimmed her smile for a bit, which worried him even more. But she just shrugged. “Not really,” she said. “But things happen. Luhan likes to pretend he sleeps around, but all he does is snuggle up to Yifan and cry himself to sleep because his ex-boyfriend believed him.”

That shut Jongdae up, mouth hanging open in disbelief. “You’re plotting!”

She just laughed.

 

Halfway into the second semester, things begin to change.

They stop having Jongdae over for anything other than hang outs and movie nights. Luhan finally resolves his issues with his boyfriend, and they move back in together. Yifan and Baekhyun stop having sex every single day.

They didn’t fight. They’ve never really fought, if Baekhyun thought about it. They agreed on anything and everything, and though sometimes she liked picking drama at each other, they were both just a little too carefree to take the other seriously.

Baekhyun even just let Yifan’s comments about her anime slide. And Yifan just rolled his eyes whenever Baekhyun made a face at his mix tapes. _Playlists,_ whatever.

They never fought, and maybe that’s why neither of them noticed their relationship getting away from them. It was almost as if, one day, they were in love, and the next, they looked at each other and said, “Is this it?”

They still had dinner together. They kissed and hugged and went on dates and slept in the same bed, but the intimacy was becoming less about because they needed it but more because they were used to it.

It was Baekhyun who brought it up first. “Is this what falling out of love feels like?” she asked. It was movie night. They were on their couch, cuddling as usual.

Yifan only hummed. “I don’t think you ever fall out of love with anyone,” he said. “You can move on from someone, or maybe they do something so irrevocably hurtful that you can’t find it in yourself to forgive them, but I don’t think you fall out of love with them.”

They were silent for a moment. “So, what are we, then?”

“I’ve never hurt you, have I?” he asked, the arm he had around her waist tightening. “Have I?”

Baekhyun smiled, turning in his hold to kiss him. _One last time, maybe_. “Maybe these things just happen,” she murmured. “But I know I still love you.”

He kissed her back. “I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you.”

 

But he did. He never stopped loving her, not really, but he did stop being _in love_ with her. And she realized she hasn’t been in love with him for a while, either. When did it start, she wondered. Neither of them wanted a fresh start, and while Jongdae and Luhan and Minseok – Luhan’s boyfriend, who also became one of their closest friends – suggested distance would help them move on faster, they decided to stay together.

“What is a break up without a _break_ ,” Luhan despaired, eyeing the both of them like they were crazy. They were having Sunday dinner at Baekhyun and Yifan’s apartment, a tradition they started up at the beginning of the year and haven’t yet given up. Jongdae and Baekhyun were starting their fourth and final years in college in a few days, and Luhan was going home to China. Minseok was starting his fellowship at the hospital, his first shift was the morning after.

“It’s a break up where nothing ever _broke,_ Luhan, things like those happen,” Baekhyun tutted, finally putting the last dish on the table and gesturing at her guests to start eating.

“Where does it happen?” Luhan exploded.

Yifan just looked at him, deadpan. An awkward silence followed, before all three of them finally accepted that, _no,_ Baekhyun wasn’t going to leave Yifan’s apartment to go looking for her own, thank you very much. She was completely happy here.

 

At the beginning of their senior year, Jongdae befriends two people from one of his electives classes and brought them to hangout night at Baekhyun and Yifan’s.

“This is Yixing,” he said, pointing at the pale one with the really cute dimple, “and this is Jongin, though he prefers Kai.” The other boy was tall and tan and really, really, hot, like almost hot enough to be Baekhyun’s type if she was looking for a relationship.

“Hey, nice to meet you,” Baekhyun greeted first, saluting from where she was comfortably plopped on Yifan’s lap.

Yifan only grunted, busy reading through something – a memo? – on his phone to pay attention. He did give them a smile when Baekhyun hit him upside the head.

“Ignore Mister Grumpy-pants and make yourselves at home,” Jongdae said, as if it was his apartment.

“Why do people keep acting like this was their apartment,” Yifan grumped, locking his phone and throwing it on Baekhyun’s side of the couch. “It’s almost as if they pay rent.”

Baekhyun snickered. “ _I_ don’t pay rent, but I still live here, don’t I?”

“I should kick you out,” Yifan sighed, but he was running his fingers through her hair and he _wasn’t_ kicking her out. He was just a giant softy deep inside, despite his size and height.

“You wouldn’t,” she sang, before turning on her side and gesturing at the TV set. “You guys can pick the movie, we don’t really care. Just make sure to get spicy anchovies when you order food, alright? I’m taking a nap.”

“Yes, your highness,” Jongdae says, gracefully picking up both the house phone and remote control from the coffee table to start flipping through Yifan’s movies. Baekhyun smiled, content, and closes her eyes to take a nap. She has been feeling tired lately.

 

Their first mistake was: they don’t stop having sex.

Sex with each other was good, and comfortable, and relaxing. They knew what their partner wanted. They were aware of their limits – nonexistent – and what made the other feel good – nearly everything. It was simple intimacy, just like what Baekhyun had with Jongdae, and what Yifan used to have in China. They were friends making each other feel good.

Their second mistake was that they were too complacent in their simplicity that they never expected complications.

If asked in the future, both Baekhyun and Yifan would say that there were three main complications in their lives, although the first two were less than the third.

The first complication came in the form of Kim Junmyeon, who was soft, tiny, beautiful, and just Yifan’s type. He was the new manager imported into their company from a different branch, in hopes that his specialty in advertising could raise their pitches and contracts more. Yifan and Victoria, his engineer counterpart, raked in most of their contracts, but they were so busy with their corporate clients that their residentials were either pushed back or cancelled.

It would have been understandable if they were the only members of their firm, but the thing was, they _weren’t_ , and most of the other architects just weren’t known enough to be pitched by clients in their first try. Most redirections from Yifan were met with animosity and the assumption that the company was looking down on them for not being million-dollar capitalists.

“So, basically, I’m here to make sure most of you don’t become bums at the end of the quarter,” Junmyeon finished cheerily, after introducing himself. “I worked mostly as an HR officer in the main branch, but it was never my specialty, so I’m looking forward to working with all of you!”

Junmyeon was cheery. He lit up any room he entered and his smile could melt the hardest of hearts. His jokes weren’t too funny and he was sometimes slow on the uptake, but he was generous and kind and he went out of his way to make sure everyone else was comfortable before he made himself comfortable. He became an absolute hit with their clients, and even Yifan’s most demanding clients softened and let him have a little more leeway in terms of time.

Yifan didn’t really know how to bring him up to Baekhyun, or why he even wanted to talk about his manager with his – best friend? Roommate? Ex-girlfriend? All of the above? They never really talked about it, but maybe they should. He wasn’t sure what the protocol was, when you find yourself having a crush on someone while you’re still in talking terms with an ex-lover, so he does what he does best: fumbles with the subject until Baekhyun successfully pries it out of him.

“You have a crush on your manager,” Baekhyun repeated flatly, before she burst out laughing. “Oh my _god_ , Yifan, you’re a walking cliché.”

“I know,” Yifan despaired, and unfortunately for him, he wasn’t agreeing just to be ironic about it. He _was_ a walking cliché, and unlike the easiness that came with his relationship with Baekhyun, Junmyeon was a little more complicated.

Baekhyun never stopped teasing him about it, since then. She brought it up again during Sunday dinner – their dinner table was getting more and more crowded, what with the addition of Jongin and Yixing and, now, Jongdae’s girlfriend – which makes all of them laugh out loud.

“The _manager,_ Yifan, really?” Minseok asked, his smile too wide to be able to talk properly and Yifan silently wished his gums would fall out. That would teach him.

Luhan was crying from laughing too hard, hiding his face in his boyfriend’s shoulder as he shook in silent laughter. “That’s fucking _hilarious_ ,” he finally says, when he could breathe. Yifan wished he never breathed again.

“I don’t get why you find it so funny,” he grumbled.

“We don’t, either, it just is,” Baekhyun said in comfort, patting his head. “There, there.”

They stop having sex, a little too late.

Yifan started courting Junmyeon with awkward little cups of coffee and random little flowers that, at first, he found cute, until Jongdae’s girlfriend taught him how to talk in them. _Take care of yourself for me,_ he said at first, for the first few weeks, because he noticed that Junmyeon had been working over time without telling anybody.

Yifan only noticed because he noticed nearly everything about Junmyeon, but also because Victoria had started teasing him about his very obvious crush. “I do _not_ have an obvious crush,” Yifan grumbled at her.

She just laughed. “Whatever you say, pup. We aren’t the ones leaving coffee and flowers on _someone’s_ desk in the morning.”

She laughed even harder when he bent over to rest his head against the desk, groaning in despair. “Why won’t people leave me and my crush on Junmyeon alone.”

_I admire you,_ he told Junmyeon next, closely followed by _I appreciate you_ after one pitch that exhausted Yifan so much he ended up falling asleep on his desk. Junmyeon had entered the office, saw Yifan slumped over his desk, and decided to just get him a bottle of water.

It’s then that everyone else in the office start noticing and realizing that Yifan had been the one leaving little gifts on Junmyeon’s desk, because you couldn’t really sneak in a sunflower into the office without everyone seeing it, not even if it was trimmed.

_Good luck, stay strong,_ he gave Junmyeon later, on the morning before a huge conference with the powers that be. He had been stressing about it for a while, and Yifan was tempted to give him _calmness_ but realized it would be better to give it to him later.

_Stay inspired, and may you remain calm,_ he left for Junmyeon one week later. Or it might have been _calmness for your inspiration_ , Yifan wasn’t really sure how it worked if there were several flowers involved, just that the white petals looked pretty surrounded by small violet flowers. The office smelled like lavender for a week afterwards.

It also then that the silent acknowledgment by the rest of the office turned into full-blown teasing. It was as if everyone in the office realized that Yifan has been Junmyeon’s secret suitor this entire time… except for Junmyeon himself, of course.

That Sunday, he vents out his frustration, and he feels his friends empathize rather than make fun of him. On one hand, it gave him comfort to know that his friends loved him enough to understand his plight about his love life; on the other hand, he wished they just made fun of him for it.

“Do I really not have a chance, Baek?” he whispered that night, holding her close to him. _For comfort,_ he told himself, _and this is the last time._ They were both sweaty and a little sore, but the warmth of having another person in bed was enough to make up for it.

She simply hummed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t think you don’t have a chance,” she said. “I think you just have to be upfront about your feelings now.”

He groaned and buried his face into her hair, breathing in the familiar scent of his shampoo. He’d think about it in the morning.

Instead of thinking about it, he blinks at his desk when he finds an unfamiliar bunch of flowers, no card, no tags, and no one around to tell him who it was from. He took a picture, and sent it to the group chat he shared with his friend.

 

**fan:** <Image Attached>

**fan:** ????? i just saw this on my desk

**everyDAE:** what THE FUCK

**everyDAE:** YIFAN

**everyDAE:** DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT THAT IS?!

**fan:** no? you’re the flower person?

**CHENNNN:** lmao babe

**Baecon:** so? what is it?

**everyDAE:** FUCKING AMBROSIA

**everyDAE:** YIFAN’S CRUSH IS SO EXTRA

**everyDAE:** HE LITERALLY JUST SAID “I LOVE YOU TOO”

**everyDAE:** WITH A RARE ASS FLOWER

**Baecon:** BITCH?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**kai:** deadass lmfao u still alive? @Yifan

**iLUHANati:** he dead

 

Well, he _wasn’t_ , but he might as well be. _Your love is reciprocated,_ someone –

_Oh_ , Junmyeon was by his desk, and he’s smiling at Yifan. Guilt lanced through Yifan and the first thing he said is, “I had sex with my best friend last night, I’m sorry.”

Junmyeon looked shocked, for a moment, before his face morphed into a look of amusement and he laughed out loud. “I thought you were finally going to ask me to be your boyfriend, but okay.”

Yifan _choked_. “I-I will! I mean, I – I! Will you please be my boyfriend!”

Junmyeon laughed again, softly saying _yes_ with the softest smile that it was almost as if Yifan didn’t ask him out by yelling at him, after telling him he had slept with his best friend last night. “I guess you’re my boyfriend now,” he said cheekily, before his gaze turned sharp and something else lanced through Yifan, something hot and decidedly not safe for work. “That means no more sex with anyone that isn’t me, because I don’t _share_ , got it?”

Yifan’s eyes were wide, and his heart was beating too fast to be comfortable, but he nodded. “G-got it.”

“Good,” Junmyeon answered, nodding smugly to himself. “We’re having dinner tonight.”

 

**_Yifan_ ** _added **Junmyeon** to **Baekhyun’s Bitches**_

**fan:** i still don’t understand why we’re all baekhyun’s bitches

**Baecon:** because bitch i’m the supreme

**Baecon:** wAIT YOU SNAKE WHO’S THE NEWBIE

**Baecon:** ohmygod you’re the mANAGER DID U GET THE D

**fan:** baek tf

**iLUHANati:** DEADASS

**Junmyeon:** Do you usually put out on the first date, Yifan? I’m sad now :(

**iLUHANati:** BITCH I’M DEAD

**fan:** look what you’ve done, Baekhyun

**Baecon:** i have no regrets

**Baecon:** anyway, ya’ll wouldn’t believe

**Baecon:** <Image Attached>

**Baecon:** dork came home with the stupidest fucking grin oh my god i can’t believe

**CHENNN:** EXPOSEDT

 

**_Junmyeon_ ** _wants to connect with you._

_You accepted **Junmyeon** ’s request._

**Junmyeon:** Baekhyun, I presume?

**Baekhyun:** Yes, that’s me! Hi, Junmyeon!

**Junmyeon:** You’re friendlier than I expected.

**Baekhyun:** What does that mean lol

**Baekhyun:** Is that… a bad thing?

**Junmyeon:** Hmmmmmm I don’t know, Baekhyun

**Junmyeon:** Is it?

**Baekhyun:** I’ve never met you and you’re terrifying omg

**Junmyeon:** I’m scarier when I feel threatened ;)

**Baekhyun:** HOLY FUCK

**Baekhyun:** that’s lowkey hot

**Baekhyun:** f u c k

**_Baekhyun_ ** _changed the name to **Junmyeon’s Bitches**_

**fan:** …do i want to know?

**Junmyeon:** Probably not, babe :)

 

“Your boyfriend is _hot_ ,” Baekhyun whined for the nth time. It’s Sunday, and their dinner table is actually crowded now. It was more than enough space when it was just Baekhyun and Yifan, and it was just right with Jongdae there; now, with Jongdae’s girlfriend, Yixing and Jongin and Minseok and Luhan – who has just arrived from China, just to meet Junmyeon – there were always elbows on someone else’s knees. With Junmyeon now added to their little brood, it was a little too much that they have to spill to the living room to eat comfortably.

“He doesn’t share,” Yifan reminded Baekhyun, pressing a casserole into her hands to bring to the living room. She scrunched her face at the smell, holding it away from her body as she walked to the living room. Yifan rolled his eyes; he knew how much she disliked tuna, but did she really have to look at food that way?

He arrived at the living room to find chaos: Jongdae and his girl were on the only armchair, and Luhan and Minseok were making out on the loveseat. Junmyeon was seated on the couch, prim and proper and watching with a raised eyebrow as Yixing, Jongin and Baekhyun – sprawled on top of each other on the floor – cheered Luhan on.

He sighed. “Alright, break it up, time to eat,” he grumbled, making his way to Junmyeon to press a kiss against his temple. “I’m sorry they’re all weirdoes.”

Junmyeon just blinked at him and smiled. “Nothing to apologize about,” he said. “They’re amazing.”

Junmyeon, unsurprisingly, integrated into their ragtag little group seamlessly. He and Baekhyun sometimes looked at each other and shared secretive little smiles, like they had an inside joke, but no one else was in on it. Yifan might have gotten worried, if the second complication hadn’t come.

Two weeks after Yifan started dating Junmyeon, Baekhyun met Park Chanyeol.

 

Chanyeol was tall, intimidating, and pretty fucking terrifying, if you asked Baekhyun. She was right there with Junmyeon in the list of things that scared the living daylights out of her, and they’d probably the only things on the list. She wasn’t even sure what about Chanyeol scared her. She hadn’t given any indication that she was anything but a gentle giant, with her tall build and large ears and short hair kept out of her face with a baseball cap.

Chanyeol was hugel, and she liked wearing baggy shirts and pants, but underneath those clothes were muscles that Baekhyun has only ever seen in magazines. She could probably deadlift twice her weight and that made her take a few steps back when they bumped into each other.

“Oh, sorry, didn’t see you,” Chanyeol murmured to her, nodding and moving to the side to let her pass. “Be careful, please.” Her hands had automatically come up to catch the papers Baekhyun had been holding, and she held them out to her as she passed.

Baekhyun had nodded and scurried away.

That afternoon, she learned that Chanyeol was to be one of their self-producing artists, the newest and probably most expensive one. She was the CEO’s friend’s cousin’s granddaughter or something. Baekhyun hadn’t meant to intern in a music company, but she always did say that if her management career fell through, she’d just become a singer or a bum.

“Oh, wow, does that mean she’s crazy talented or something?” she asked her supervisor as she was preparing to leave for the day. She looked at Baekhyun like she was crazy or something.

“Have you _never_ heard of Chanyeol Park, Baekhyun?” she asked her, and Baekhyun shook her head. Her supervisor sighed. “Look her up on the internet, babe,” she said, waving her off. “Take care on your way.”

That night, Baekhyun snuggled up to Yifan, leeching off his heat as he worked in the living room, and searched _Chanyeol_ on her phone. The first to come up is, strangely enough, an iMDb page - apparently Chanyeol had starred in a drama and several musicals - quickly followed by a link to a YouTube channel. Curious, she opened the site, and found out that Chanyeol has been covering and producing her own songs for _years_ , and has a following of almost nine million people.

She gawks at the numbers in disbelief, a little winded that someone _this_ popular had signed into their company, which was small and only had three bands to its name in the six years it had existed. She decides to open Chanyeol’s most viewed song, thinking maybe it would be the best way to get introduced to Chanyeol as an artist.

At the end of the night, even Yifan is impressed by Park Chanyeol, and he has added several of her songs to his playlist. “Where’d you find this guy?” he asked her. “I never pegged you to be into the indie scene.”

She shrugged, but she understood. Her music taste could only be described as _safe_ – she listened only to the artists she knew and has been listening to for years, and rarely ventured out of her comfort zone. For her to listen to an indie song is unusual, and for her to recommend the _artist_ is even rarer. “She signed into the company I’m working for. I bumped into her this afternoon.”

Yifan snorted. “Of course you did.”

Baekhyun elbowed him on the side. “She’s really good, though.” Baekhyun was impressed. She had always pegged herself to be in the emo side of the power ballads spectrum, while Chanyeol was more pop and hiphop than classic.

“Yeah, she is.”

“I’m looking forward to working with her.”

“You’re in HR, Baek, you aren’t going to be working with her.”

She pouted. Yifan laughed, not stopping even when his phone rang, and he answered Junmyeon’s nightly calls.

“Guess what,” he told Junmyeon, “Baekhyun has a _crush_.”

She was still in a low mood the following morning when she got into the office, realizing that she _did_ have a little bit of a crush on one Park Chanyeol, and probably little to no chance. The only thing she could think was that she was probably _crazy_. First, she breaks up with her boyfriend of four years just because, then she doesn’t move out, and now she starts crushing on a girl she has only bumped into.

Maybe Luhan had been right - maybe she and Yifan _were_ crazy.

When she got into the office, the first place she visited was the breakroom. She had ten minutes until she was expected to check in, and that was more than enough time to fix herself a cup of coffee – with two teaspoons of sugar and three and a half of cream, just like she liked it – in hopes it would fix her mood. She had several interviews to do today, and it wouldn’t be good to be grumpy on an important day. Especially over a _girl_ , no matter how attractive and talented.

When she got to the break room, though, the pungent earthy smell of coffee that used to comfort her made her queasy instead. She patted her stomach. She shouldn’t have skipped breakfast; she was prone to hyperacidity, and she wasn’t sure she had any of her medicine in her bag. She hasn’t been needing it lately, because she hasn’t skipped breakfast in a while.

She walked out of the break room, dejected, only to bump into someone again.

“Oh!” she said, looking up and freezing when she came face to face with – that’s right! – Park Chanyeol. “Um, I’m sorry, again,” she said stupidly, but she couldn’t move away because she just felt so _warm_.

She blinked down at her. “No, you don’t need to apologize,” she said. “What’s your name?”

She blinked. “Oh, I’m Baekhyun! From HR! Nice to meet you!”

She nodded, still watching her closely. “I’m Chanyeol. Do you bump into people often?”

“That sounds like a pickup line,” she blurted, before she could stop the words from spilling from her mouth, and she groaned in embarrassment. “I’m sorry.”

Chanyeol only laughed. “It could be one, if you wanted,” she said, all shy and charming and Baekhyun had to look at her, mouth open in shock and disbelief. _Is this the real life?_

“What?” she breathed.

She gulped, obviously nervous, hand coming up to scratch at the back of her neck. “Um,” he started, “you’re really cute. Will you go out with me, Baekhyun?”

She stayed silent for a moment. At least, it felt like a moment, but in retrospect it was probably for longer; long enough that Chanyeol had began stammering through an apology before Baekhyun silenced her with a raised hand.

“Please don’t apologize,” she pleaded. “I’m just… surprised, that you’d want anything to do with me.”

“What do you mean?” Chanyeol asked, incredulous. “You’re nice, and cute, and you look like you work hard. What do you mean about that?”

She winced. “Nothing, I guess. We don’t even _know_ each other, we’ve bumped into each other like, twice.”

Chanyeol shrugged, taking a step back and leaning against the wall beside them. She was looking at Baekhyun a little dejectedly, as if looking for an answer Baekhyun wasn’t sure she could – or would – provide, but she was sure there was a pout somewhere on Chanyeol’s expression, she just isn’t pulling it out yet. “If you don’t want to, you can just say, Baekhyun. I’m not going to push the issue.”

“What? No!” she cried, too fast and _far_ too emotional. _Ugh_ , she hated mornings. She groaned instead, rubbing her face with her palms. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry I’m—alright, you know what, go ahead. I like you, Chanyeol. Yes, I’d love to go out with you.”

Chanyeol’s entire being lit up, and Baekhyun wanted to look away, lest she be blinded by the freaking _sun_. “Really?” she asked, eager. “Alright, then, would lunch today be alright with you?” She was leaning forward, like a puppy asking for pets and praise.

Baekhyun winced again, a little more winded this time. _God_ , does Chanyeol really have to be so _cute_?  “Um, I have a lot of interviews today, I don’t think I can leave for my lunch break.” She cleared her throat. “Would you like to have dinner together instead?”

“Yes!” Chanyeol almost yelled, and then, as if realizing how _loud_ she was being, pulled back and smiled, embarrassed. “I mean, yes, see you at lunch, Baekhyun!”

 

Chanyeol’s courtship started with sample snippets with the files named _for you_. None were longer than a minute and a half, most of which began immediately with the song while others had fifteen-second intros filled with the strums of a guitar or the soothing tinkling of a piano.

The first time she received a file - on her _email_ , of all things - it was one in the morning and she was cradling a drunk Jongdae to her chest. His girlfriend had just broken things off, just like that, out of nowhere, as if the past four years meant nothing. Baekhyun had been thinking how _lucky_ she must have gotten, to have something with someone like Yifan; everything had been simple and frank, with Yifan. There were no complications, no secrets, no fights that would lead to sudden breaks and no closure.

Jongdae was sniffling against her shirt, making her scrunch her nose a little. This was her best friend, though, and with all the things she put him through, she would let him snot on her sweater if he needed. Her phone buzzed where it was face-down on the coffee table. Yifan, back bowed around his papers on the other side of the table, reached over to chuck it at her.

“Thank you,” she murmured, surprised when she saw a mail notification.

 

gift

**Chanyeol Park** <p.loey@cxgent.post>  
to me <b.hyun@cxgent.post>

   hey, i thought of you. hope u have a good rest, see you later! -pcy

**for_baek.mp4**  
43 mb

 

Surprised - and, if she was going to be honest, which she _wasn’t_ , thrilled - she tapped the attachment and waited for it to download before playing the song on her speaker.

_You’re like my own moon,_ Chanyeol immediately crooned, _you brighten up the darkest skies, don’t you know? There are no stars, and my eyes are fogged by clouds -_

_But your light, it guides me home._

Jongdae raised his head from where he’d been sniffling on Baekhyun, staring first at the phone in Baekhyun’s hand before looking at Baekhyun’s flushed face. “Is that the new artist you were talking about?”

Yifan hummed. “Chanyeol, talented,” he muttered, before shuffling a little to move his long-ass legs.

Baekhyun hummed. “Y-yeah,” she said. “It’s a… sample,” she settled with. She didn’t tell them it was a song for _her_.

But she didn’t have to. Jongdae knew her well enough and long enough to intuitively know what she was hiding - another relationship that was simple and straight-to-the-point, Baekhyun really was #blessedt - because he narrowed his eyes at her. “She made the song for you, didn’t she?” he asked.

Baekhyun squeaked and waited for the ground to open up and swallow her whole. Even _Yifan_ had stopped what he was doing to look at her, dazed but amazed. “Wow,” he said, “you’re a lucky brat, aren’t you?”

“Shut up!” she screamed at them both, pulling out from under Jongdae to run to her - and Yifan’s, they have yet to move out of their shared bedrooms, an entire month and a half after their breakup - bedroom. No one had to know she listened to Chanyeol’s song again. And again. And again.

She woke up the following morning with the other half of the bed cold and untouched. Yifan must have fallen asleep in the living room again; that man was going to hurt his back. After that thought, she realized that Chanyeol’s song has been playing nonstop all night. No wonder her cell phone battery was in the red.

As Baekhyun shifted to lie on her back, listening to Chanyeol’s voice croon about how her light was bright enough to guide her in her darkest nights - and isn’t _that_ cheesy? - she realized that this was _Chanyeol_ , talented singer, songwriter, composer, writing and recording songs for _Baekhyun_ instead of making songs for her new _album_.

She sat up, eyes now wary as she watched her phone. Harmless little device, but the thoughts that were now swirling through her head were anything but. _You don’t deserve her_ , Baekhyun thinks. _Why would she want you? You’re a mess._

Baekhyun didn’t usually have thoughts like these. These were rare, but when they came, they left her in the middle of a sea of insecurities she had deluded herself into thinking she had gotten over. These days were so rare that she had never had one in the four years she’d been living in this city, since she stopped being _Baekhyun, the youngest Byun daughter, oh, the girl who -_  and she started becoming _Baekhyun, the management major from National U_.

She almost missed work that day, but she realized it might send Chanyeol all the wrong signals. She was already a little insecure - would you look at that? - about where she stood with Baekhyun, and she didn’t deserve to feel less than completely loved for all that she was.

The day at the office was too busy for Baekhyun to get into her own head. There were interviews and follow-up phone calls and appointments to be made with studios and radio stations for some of their artists. And then there was a new team building activity her supervisors thought of: a _scavenger hunt_ , of all things. Baekhyun barely had time to sit down and send a text to Chanyeol, much less to think about everything that had boggled her mind when she woke up.

She didn’t see Chanyeol until the end of that week, each day leading up to it accompanied by another music file, each one a different song.

_Your eyes are like summer,_ one song said, _the warmth after the rain. Ravage me with your heat, and make the flowers grow again_.

Another song started with a strong beat, like a heart drumming away in someone’s rib cage, letting its presence known. This song was longer than the others. _I never thought I’d find you in hell,_ the verse begins, fast paced and tasting like discontent. _Little piece of paper promising my future, ha! What a joke. And yet there you were, an angel in her white robes; your halo’s a little askew, but I don’t really mind. We don’t have to be perfect, baby, we’re alright where we are; so gather a little courage and jump deeper into Hell with me._

The song had confused Baekhyun, the way it started strong and ended so abruptly. Still, she didn’t have the luxury of time to worry about what the song might have meant - more than the fact that it was meant for her - because a huge PR event was coming up and that meant more work for Baekhyun and his colleagues.

_If you were the sun, I’d be the flower struggling to have a chance to gaze at you and bask in your warmth,_ a slow, slow song croons into Baekhyun’s ear that night. She had taken the time to invest in proper earphones so she could hear Chanyeol’s voice more clearly. _Please, be alright, keep living, starshine._ This song got itself a title, a short **starshine_baek.mp4** , but it was a title nonetheless.

Honestly, Baekhyun wanted to believe that the songs Chanyeol was giving her were parts of songs that were rejected or that she was in the middle of recording, but she had the feeling that Chanyeol was taking far too much time writing and making songs for Baekhyun instead of her own album.

 

**Chan <3:** do you not like them?

**Baekkie:** i do!!!!!!!! but shouldn’t you be making songs for your album???????

**Chan <3:** i’ve made more progress in the past week with you than i have in the past month i’ve been signed in your company. Kyungsoo approves.

**Baekkie:** Kyungsoo?

**Chan <3:** oh, right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! are u free on Sat? let’s go out!!!! i’ll introduce u

 

_Kyungsoo_ turned out to be Chanyeol’s roommate, childhood best friend, manager, impulse control, and duet, all rolled into one. He was small, pale, and intimidating, almost like Yifan, if he was five-foot-eight with a killer glare. They met up for lunch at a family-owned hole in the wall kind of place. Chanyeol claimed it as one of her favorite spots in the city, and when they entered and Baekhyun saw the interior, she kind of understood _why_.

The décor was rustic and traditional, the walls sided with bamboo and the tables lined with cushioned seats that reminded Baekhyun of the kind of chairs her grandmother used to love, when she was younger. It smelled of fresh spice and crushed sesame and served _soju_ in plastic cups at eleven in the morning, and it was everything Baekhyun did not expect to find in the middle of a busy city. It was almost a step back in time.

Kyungsoo was already there when Baekhyun arrived with Chanyeol, crouched over a notebook he was furiously writing into. He had short-cropped hair and was wearing a plain dark shirt, and he didn’t look up when Chanyeol bounded over to drape herself over his back. “Baekkie,” she said, “this is Kyungsoo. Soo, this is Baekkie.”

“Get off me,” he said quietly, pushing her off almost effortlessly. Baekhyun almost stepped back and ran when Kyungsoo finally looked up to look at her, eyes sharp and face impassive as he looked her over. “So, _you’re_ Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun glanced at Chanyeol, hoping she would be able to give some tips on how to survive this first meeting, but she was too busy looking over the menu to be of much help. She resisted the urge to pout an instead smiled at Kyungsoo, sliding into the chair in front of Chanyeol. “Hello,” she greeted, as brightly as she could, “nice to meet you.” She wasn’t sure why she was so nervous. It wasn’t like Chanyeol was going to stop talking to her if her best friend told her not to.

…Right?

She looked at Chanyeol again, and this time she wondered if she would put a romantic interest before her closest friend. She tried to imagine having to make a choice between Jongdae’s decision and _Chanyeol_ , and found herself in a conundrum. Had she been older, she would say that maturity always won over petty differences, but she was only 21 and she was torn. On one hand, she probably wouldn’t appreciate someone who will willingly throw fifteen years for a _relationship_ , but on the other hand she realized that she _really_ , really liked Chanyeol. She liked him enough that Kyungsoo’s approval of their blooming relationship meant as much to her as Chanyeol liking her in the first place.

“Don’t scare her off, Soo,” Chanyeol said, finally looking up from the menu she had been perusing. Her whining voice snapped Baekhyun out of her spiral of thoughts, successfully pulling her back into the present. “Don’t worry too much, yeah?” she said to Baekhyun, sending her a small, secret smile before scooping Baekhyun’s hand where it was resting on the table. “He isn’t really scary.”

The attention made Baekhyun blush, something decidedly giddy and _happy_ squirming in her stomach. The butterflies decided to take off when she noticed Kyungsoo looking at them with a soft, affectionate smile on her face.

“Whatever, Sasquatch,” he muttered at them, before shaking his head and offering Baekhyun a hand. “Nice to meet you, Baekhyun. I’m sorry I can’t stop her from sending you cringey love songs at one in the morning.”

Chanyeol whined, but all Baekhyun could do was squeeze her hand and laugh in relief at the thought of getting Kyungsoo’s approval.

 

Chanyeol didn’t immediately join Sunday dinners, at least not as quickly as Junmyeon had. (Or Luhan, or Jongdae, or any of them, if Baekhyun was going to be honest.) Jongdae and Yifan had teased her mercilessly about inviting Chanyeol over for dinner, and when she finally folded, Chanyeol had been too busy with recording to really be able to join.

In hindsight, maybe it was a blessing in disguise – or something disgustingly cheesy like that – in light of the third and biggest complication in Baekhyun and Yifan’s lives.

Baekhyun had been feeling consistently queasy and fatigued all week. At first she attributed it to work – the PR event was eight days away and their bosses were hounding them for outputs and updates and, several times, Baekhyun had to leave the office to follow-up several appointments herself. She had gotten caught napping on her desk four times so far and it was only _Wednesday_.

She woke up that morning dizzy and nauseas, wondering if maybe she had caught a bug as she laid in bed in misery. She wallowed in hating having to go to class in a few minutes, and _then_ to work after. _Why can’t I just graduate so this suffering ends._

“Get up,” Yifan said, walking into the bedroom while buttoning his work shirt and swatting at Baekhyun’s leg. Whatever Junmyeon’s marketing plan was, it worked wonders for Yifan’s work hours – he now _had_ set work hours, for one thing. His schedule was free enough that he could drop Baekhyun off at the university for her Wednesday classes and pick her up from work on Fridays, so they could collect Jongdae together for hangout nights. She was contemplating calling in sick when she remembered that a day’s missed work is worth an entire week of make-up duty.

Groaning, she pushed herself to sit up and sat there, on her side of the bed, pouting as she watched Yifan move around the room getting ready for work. How dare he look so put together at – she checked the clock – six in the morning?!

He looked at her and snorted. “Go take a bath, princess, pouting about life isn’t going to make time stop for you.”

“ _Why_ does work have to exist,” she despaired, kicking the blankets off of her before sighing again.

“Quoting her Highness Baekhyun Byun: these things happen. Seriously, Baek, start getting ready. I’m leaving in half an hour.”

 

Her stomach settled down after a cup of Yifan’s hot tea, only to act up again when she got a whiff of his leather cleanser. She didn’t understand what about the familiar citrus scent threw her off, except that it made her incredibly uncomfortable and made her stomach turn in protest.

Yifan was frowning at her from where he was already on the driver’s seat, peering up from the roof. “Are you alright? Do you want to just stay home? You look pale.”

She shook her head and slid in, fighting the urge to gag. The way it felt reminded her of some of her worst hangovers, except she didn’t have fun the night before and was just suffering. “I’ll go to the clinic if I don’t feel better at the end of class,” she muttered, busying herself with her seatbelt. Besides, she could always ask for Chanyeol to drive her to the nearest clinic if need be.

 

Another silver lining: Chanyeol _hadn’t_ been the one to drive her to the hospital. Deciding she felt better after her class, Baekhyun had dropped by one of the cafes on her way to work from the university and had a light lunch, before commuting to the company building in the next district. On the way she _did_ start feeling dizzy, but the company had a clinic and she could always just go there before she signed in at HR on the tenth floor.

It was a solid plan, until she fainted in the elevator.

She was alone in the car, which was probably why the first person who found her immediately panicked and called emergency services. She was so out of it that she barely remembered the entire trip. When she came to, she was on a hospital bed, an IV connected to the inside of her elbow. Jongdae – her emergency contact since they moved to the city four years ago – was there, pale and wan and looking like he’d been stressing himself out unnecessarily.

“Dae,” she whispered, and immediately she had her arms full of a shaking Jongdae. “I’m alright,” she continued. “What happened?”

He sniffled before pulling away, sitting on the bed by her hip. “I’m not really sure. Your office called, and I came as fast as I could. All the nurses could tell me was that you’re dehydrated and more than a little fatigued, thus the IV.” He gestured at the IV bags on the pole on her bedside. “They collected some blood for some tests, but they said it might take another ten minutes before anyone could come see you.”

She sighed, more than a little guilty. “I’m sorry for worrying you, Dae,” she said. “God, I didn’t even notice I was neglecting my health again.” It wasn’t the first time she forgot to take care of herself because of work and school – and her _thesis_ – but unlike last time, she didn’t have a Yifan to take care of her 24/7, and, unlike last time, this actually sent her to the hospital.

Yifan was still there. They still lived together, they were still friends – but Baekhyun didn’t expect him to drop his work, his _boyfriend_ , just to take care of her. She was an _adult_ , for pete’s sake.

“Have you told mom yet?” she asked nervously.

Jongdae shook his head, to her relief. “I was going to, but I realized she might rush over guns blazing without any of the details.”

“Thank you, Dae.” Both of Baekhyun’s parents were senior citizens who shouldn’t commute on their own but wouldn’t hesitate to if they found out their baby fainted at work. They’d done it once for her brother, who had to miss work once because of the _flu_ , and she knew they would do it for her, too. She looked at Jongdae in appreciation. She would be _lost_ without him by her side, and she should probably show her gratitude a little more.

She was about to open her mouth when the door opened, admitting a short woman with a white coat and –

“Minseok,” Jongdae and Baekhyun said at the same time, much to the doctors’ surprise.

Minseok blinked at Jongdae, and then at Baekhyun, brows immediately furrowing in confusion and concern. “Baek,” he whispered.

“Oh, do you know each other?” the doctor asked. “I’m Doctor Kim, I’ll be your attending doctor, and this is Doctor Kim, which you might already know.”

Baekhyun and Jongdae both nodded, while the doctors bowed to them in greeting. Of _course_ of all the hospitals in the city, she had to be admitted to the one where her friend was working. She smiled at Minseok, hoping to reassure him that she was alright, and the look of concern on his face eased a little.

Doctor Kim checked over Baekhyun’s IV before smiling at her. “Alright, may I know your name?”

 

The routine questions lasted less than ten minutes, and neither Doctor Kim nor Doctor Kim took any notes even though both of them had clipboards in their hands. It was hilarious to watch Jongdae and Minseok squirm at some of the questions – _are your periods regular? No. Have you seen an OB-Gyne about it? Yeah, I was on birth control for a while, but I had to stop because it was causing more pain than relief. Are you sexually active? I_ was _. The last time I had sex was… two months ago?_

“Alright, thank you, Miss Byun. Has anyone requested for any tests yet?” Doctor Kim concluded, looking from Baekhyun to Jongdae expectantly.

“Yeah, they had blood drawn a while ago?” Jongdae said. “They said it needed another ten minutes or so.”

Doctor Kim nodded. “Alright. I’m going to request for an ECG, and then we’ll just have to wait for the bloodwork to come, though we can probably discharge you by tonight if there’s nothing seriously wrong.” She smiled again, before bowing and leading Minseok out of the room.

Baekhyun waved at the both of them cheerfully, optimistic that this was just exhaustion and a lack of self-care. She’d probably be okay by the next morning.

 

She was not okay.

She wasn’t _sick_ , per se, she was still dehydrated and needed a lot of rest, but emotionally, she was a wreck. The IV was removed, and Minseok had agreed to pay for whatever it was she needed to pay to be discharged and released. She was given the okay three hours ago, but she and Jongdae had been sitting, dumbfounded, in the lobby since. Minseok had come by to check on them a few times, but he was a busy doctor-to-be and didn’t have the luxury to keep doing so.

The paper in her hands was light and seemingly harmless, but it had the potential to ruin not just her life, but Yifan’s. Junmyeon. _Chanyeol._ God, how the _hell_ was she going to tell Chanyeol? Sweet, charming Chanyeol, who always assumed the worst and continued to believe she had to prove herself to Baekhyun before she could have her heart.

 

**BYUN, BAEKHYUN (21)** __  
Pregnancy: Positive.  
                    Approx. 8 weeks

_Recommendation: Prenatal appointment (Ward 14: OBGYN)_

 

She was pregnant.

She was 21, and she was pregnant, and she had no idea what to do about it. Dinner that Sunday was subdued and tense. Filled with confused looks and unanswered questions. Baekhyun had luckily not seen Chanyeol in the two days she had to sign in to the company, but she couldn’t escape her friends. Aside from Jongdae and Minseok, no one else knew _why_ Baekhyun had gotten hospitalized, only that it was because of exhaustion.

Baekhyun didn’t know _how_ to tell them, any of them, but especially not Yifan. He was so happy. When they were together, they never talked about their future. They made _vague_ plans, like how they would take a vacation and adopt a dog or thirty, but they never seriously considered anything _permanent_. They were too young, too carefree, too happy about what they had at the present.

And now, Yifan had that with someone else, and Baekhyun was going to ruin it. She isn’t quite sure how they’d survived the past few days without Yifan managing to pry the answers out of her, but somehow, she had managed to keep her tiny little secret for longer. Little, but it will ruin Yifan’s life, she was sure of it.

_You don’t have to._

_You have options_ , Minseok had told her when they saw each other at the subway on Saturday evening. _I hope you know that. They’re expensive as hell, but they’re options, and they’re available to you, if you want them._

She had options, she just had to make a choice, and maybe Yifan _didn’t_ need to know. None of them needed to know, and strictly speaking, neither Jongdae nor Minseok knew anything, either. Minseok was going off on a – scarily accurate – guess, and Jongdae wasn’t privy to the information on Baekhyun’s patient sheet. She bit her lip, watching as her friends quietly had dinner around her. Yifan and Junmyeon were curled together on the sofa, Junmyeon feeding Yifan bits of food from his plate. Luhan was back in China, so Minseok was on the armchair with _Jongdae_ curled on his lap, both of them busy watching something on Jongdae’s phone.

Yixing was already conked out beside Baekhyun, head resting between Yifan’s calf and the cushion of the sofa. Jongin was… Baekhyun peered over the armchair. Jongin was in the kitchen, getting seconds, probably. A growing boy.

A _growing_ boy.

Baekhyun shook her head to clear the image out, letting herself instead imagine Chanyeol and, maybe, Kyungsoo, joining them for their Sunday dinner. Chanyeol would wrap herself around Baekhyun, that was for sure. Maybe Kyungsoo would be quiet on the other end of the sofa at the beginning of the night, but Junmyeon had a way with people and they’d probably be talking about the universe or some cheesy thing like that before they put on a movie after eating.

Baekhyun tried to imagine a child’s laughter somewhere in that picture, but her brain shut that image down before she could even fully comprehend its possibility. Her stomach turns as she snuggles up to Yixing, resting her head against his stomach. She could feel Minseok looking at her from the armchair but she couldn’t bring herself to look back.

She didn’t know what to do. Was this going to be another thing on her list of _things that happen_? She closed her eyes, hoping for rest to claim her before she spiraled out of her own thoughts. Of Chanyeol. Of Yifan. Junmyeon. Yifan _and_ Junmyeon. She groaned. Didn’t she always say her relationships were based on no secrets and no complications? This entire thing was a complication, and she didn’t want to make anything worse.

So, without opening her eyes, she says, “I’m pregnant.”

Something falls in the kitchen, and Baekhyun winces. She hopes it isn’t one of Yifan’s mugs.

“Baek?” Jongdae asked, at the same time a choked voice says, “ _What?”_

Baekhyun takes a deep breath. “It’s nothing you have to worry about,” she says. “I’m fine.”

“You’re— _Baekhyun_ ,” Junmyeon says this time, and he sounds exasperated. “Is that why you were at the hospital?”

Baekhyun was about to deny when Minseok interrupted and said, “yes. She’s probably eight weeks along.”

“That’s against your code of ethics but okay,” Baekhyun muttered.

“You’re _pregnant,_ ” Yifan said again, still sounding choked. Baekhyun felt a twinge of concern. What if he’d accidentally swallowed a huge bite of food?

“Yes, Fan,” Junmyeon said, “Baekhyun is pregnant.”

“I…”

“Yes, Yifan, you,” Baekhyun said. “It’s you. You’re the father.”

 

Baekhyun didn’t know what she was doing. It was eleven-thirty and she was alone at the park, waiting for Chanyeol to arrive. Earlier that morning, Baekhyun, Yifan, Junmyeon, and Jongdae had gone to the hospital for Baekhyun’s first checkup and ultrasound. She was filled with nerves and – honestly, she was _terrified_. This was going to make the entire thing real.

She and Yifan had tried to talk about it. What they planned to do, what _Baekhyun_ planned to do. The entire conversation revolved around the fact that _Junmyeon_ was supportive of any decision they decided to make, but Yifan hinted at the _keeping_ side of things. “He loves kids,” Yifan had muttered, eyes locked on his knees. “We went to this church his grandfather was taking care of. It was taking care of these little kids and. He just loves them.”

_He’d love them more if they were yours,_ Baekhyun almost said, but she probably didn’t have to. The way Junmyeon had looked at her – with all the fondness she didn’t think she deserved – was answer enough.

The clinic was clean and cold, and they had gotten strange looks for being there as a group. Baekhyun had one hand squeezed between both of Jongdae’s, the other playing with Junmyeon’s fingers. Yifan had an arm over Junmyeon’s lap so he could rest it on Baekhyun’s thigh. They were a weird knot of people, that was sure.

“Miss Byun?” the receptionist asked, and when all four of them stood at once, she almost panicked. Her professionalism saved her, though, or maybe it was the appraising look Junmyeon had sent her when she opened her mouth, probably to tell them they weren’t allowed in the main clinic with Baekhyun. “T-This way,” she muttered instead, gesturing to the hallway with the clipboard in her hands.

The first thing Baekhyun could register was the quick sound of thumping. She was on her back on the bed, a cold-ass gel on her stomach, eyes trained on the monitor by her side. She couldn’t make out anything, but the rapid thumping _did_ take her attention quick.

“Oh, that’s their heartbeat,” the doctor told them, smiling at Baekhyun encouragingly when she started to choke. “And I think – there, that’s the baby,” she said, pointing at… something… before the image shifted again, “and there’s baby number two. Congrats, Miss Byun, Mister Wu, you’re having twins!”

“Twins,” Yifan said faintly.

“Holy shit,” said Jongdae.

All Baekhyun could think was, _I wasn’t even ready for_ one _. What the hell do I do with_ two _?_

After the checkup – Junmyeon had asked them to print four copies of the sonogram – they had gotten lunch, and then they dropped Baekhyun off at work before they went about their own businesses. Baekhyun had seen Chanyeol briefly, and they shared a quick hug, before Chanyeol was whisked away to the recording room for another afternoon of recording songs.

The entire time they hadn’t seen each other she had continued sending Baekhyun her songs, but this time most of them were longer and more comprehensive. _They’re actually part of the album now, but I still wrote them for you_ , Chanyeol had told her during one of the rare times they could call each other. _So, you’re hearing them first._

_It’s your smile, it takes away my tears and all the times I’ve wanted to give up,_ Chanyeol sings to her, _it’s the way you turn your head and look at me even when I can’t touch you. I can feel your warmth, from so far away; can you feel mine, too? Is this enough? Can I ever be enough for you?_

_There’s an island in the middle of the sea, and it’s making its way to me,_ another song goes. _It has coconut trees and little leaves, all the things that make you happy. There are messages in bottles and lost treasure chests; maybe there we’ll find our lost love. There’s an island in the middle of the sea, and maybe one day it’ll bring my treasure to me._

It was eleven-forty-five in the evening and Baekhyun was staring at Chanyeol, telling her everything she didn’t have the chance to about the past six years of her life. At exactly 12:04 in the morning, voice hoarse and tears streaming down her cheeks, Baekhyun sobbed and said, “And now I’m pregnant. I’m 21 and I’m lost and I’m pregnant and I’m _in love with you_.”

Baekhyun couldn’t understand Chanyeol’s expression. What she could comprehend was that there was pain there. _So much_ pain. “C-Come on, Baekhyun. I’m dropping you off at home.”

Baekhyun sobbed harder. _Baekhyun. Not Baekkie_. “Is that—Is that all you have to say, after all that, Yeol?”

Chanyeol winced at the nickname, but she wasn’t deterred. “There’s nothing to say. It’s late, Baekhyun, come _on_. You have to rest.”

Baekhyun shook her head. “I don’t. I don’t – I don’t need to rest, I need to hear your words, Yeol, please.” _Please don’t break my heart._ “Yeol. Please.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say!” Chanyeol finally exploded. “Do you want me to say I’m okay with this? Because I don’t think I am. I don’t know how to feel, _Baekkie_ —” she cringed at the derisive way her name left Chanyeol’s lips, so, _so_ hurtful “—but _maybe_ I still want to make sure you get home okay because you’re _pregnant_ and I still _care for you_.”

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun said. “I’m sorry, Chanyeol.”

“What are you even apologizing for,” she breathed, finally moving forward to pull Baekhyun into a tight, tight hug. “You don’t have to apologize for _anything_ , Baekkie, but maybe I do, because I – I can’t. I don’t think I can.”

Baekhyun felt like the world was stopping. “Yeol?”

“I like you, a lot, and I care about you but – I need time, Baekhyun, to understand. To think through all of this.” _To decide if you’re still worth it._

But Baekhyun didn’t care. “Take all the time you need,” she said through her tears, even when it felt like the world was ripping her heart out of her chest. Is this what heartbreak really felt like? “Take all the time you need but—” her breath hitched. Could she really say this? She had to. “But… if… if you don’t want me,” _if you decide I’m not worth it,_ “please tell me,” she breathed. “I probably deserve to suffer, but please don’t let me. I’m really, really selfish, Yeollie, but I think you knew that.”

Chanyeol shushed her, pulling her into the hug once more. “You’re not selfish,” she whispered. “I won’t leave you waiting too long, Baekhyun, I promise. Now, come on, you’re shivering, I’ll drop you off at home, okay? Will Yifan be there to take care of you, or are you going to be alone?”

“If I say I’ll be alone, will you stay with me?”

“You just have to ask, Baekkie. I’ll stay with you.”

“Please stay with me?”

 

That night, Baekhyun falls asleep in Chanyeol’s arms. The following morning, Chanyeol was gone. There was a short note on her bedside table, and no texts or calls on her phone. She was already expecting it, but still, learning that Chanyeol had filed for an end to her contract to the company was a blow to the heart.

“We’re still releasing her album,” her supervisor told her. “Hey, are you okay? Do you want me to look for another MC for tomorrow?”

Baekhyun blinked at her, and then shook her head. She couldn’t believe it, but it had only been a week. Seven days, since she last thought that the biggest hurdle she would have to face was the event tomorrow. It seemed insignificant now, and in the grand scheme of things.

Slowly, she raised her hand and rested it against her belly, not quite knowing why, but maybe, just _maybe_ , these things just happen.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hello i have a [ twitter! ](http://twitter.com/k0yawonu)


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